I am broken in many ways.

 

broken-look-beautiful

I saw this quote and it got me to think about myself.

I am broken in many ways, but I do not think I make it look beautiful or appealing in any way shape or form. My spirit has been broken time and time again. My heart has been broken in ways that the cracks are deep and not able to be rebound.

I working on being strong both physically and mentally but I don’t make it look invincible. I make it look probable. I will take on anything for those I love. I will fight for you. I will fight for your happiness. I will defend your honor, your name, your life.

I do walk with the weight of the world on my shoulders and I don’t make it look like I have wings. The weight of the world on my shoulders has been slumping my shoulders. It’s been making the black cloud of depression curl up my body and envelope it.  The weight of the world on my shoulders has crippled me in many many ways. I doubt myself. I doubt the intentions of others. I question their motive and their friendship. The weight of the world on my shoulders has made me emotional beyond words. Never in my life have I been brought to tears so easily.  The weight of the world on my shoulders has made me a smaller person not in stature but in emotions. The weight of the world on my shoulders has forced me to put back walls that had been broken down by people.

I have let people in who saw me as a means to an end. When that end came, they crumbled me up like a piece of paper and tossed me away. Do I pick myself up and dust myself off and start all over again, yes. But the problem with a crumbled up and tossed away of paper, when you un-crumble it, it’s still wrinkled.  Can I learn from these crumbled wrinkles, of course. I’m an emotional person and now I see myself through your eyes. I see someone who you thought so little of I was the butt of your jokes. I see someone who’s feelings you could easily dismiss as long as you got what you wanted.

I may be down now and it may take me a long time to rise up again, but I will. You may have thought you’ve got me beat, but I have learned. I will rise up again stronger than before. It will be a long and difficult road for me, but I will make it somehow, someway.

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