I just need someone to….

…hug me and tell me I’m not as worthless as I think I am. I need someone to tell me that I’m not the butt of jokes. That I am worthy of friendships and compliments. Do you know what it’s like to walk into any kind of room and think that people smile to your face and snicker behind your back? That they watch what you are doing and make fun of you for trying your hardest?

Do you know what it’s like to walk into any kind of room and think that people smile to your face and snicker behind your back? That they watch what you are doing and make fun of you for trying your hardest?

Do you know what it’s like to think that you are disposable? That you don’t cross anyone’s mind at all and if you do it’s in such a fleeting way and dismissive? That you are invisible? That the shadows have more presence than you do?

Do you know what it’s like to have promises made to you and discarded like they are nothing? Do you know what it’s like when no one notices your tears…your sadness…your pains? No? How about when all they notice is your mistakes? Do you know what that feels like?

Do you ever wonder how much you exist in other people’s lives? Do people ever think of me when a certain song comes on or when they see a picture or a certain book? Do I pass through anyone’s head during the day?

Do you ever wonder why I don’t really have any friends? Do you ever notice that I’m really friendly to people? I like being there for them, even if it’s a stranger.  Do you ever notice that the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy? Did you know it’s because they know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless and they never want anyone to feel that way ever?

Did you know I know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless? Did you know I’m used to being cancelled on? Did you know I’m used to being left out or the second option? I’m used to being ignored and getting the blame.Did you know that I know what it feels like to find out you aren’t important?

 

Did you know I need someone to hug me and tell me I’m not as worthless as I think I am? Because I do.

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