…and me too. Why I’m leaving Social Media behind….almost all of it.
So, I’ve been doing some pondering and reading about how to not let people’s opinions bother me. So far I’ve perused “Hardcore Self Help: F*ck Anxiety” by Robert Duff, “F*CK WHAT YOU THINK: How to shed the shackles, make your life a success and stop worrying about what others think about you.” by Dr. Michael Port, “Stop Caring What Others Think: How to Stop Worrying About What People Think of You” by James Umber and “I Don’t Fucking Care!: How to Stop Caring What People Think About you (Stop Worrying, Social Anxiety, Self-Image, Self-Esteem, Shyness, Self-Doubt, Start Living) by Adam Rockman. As you can see by the titles, most of the books came up with the same ideas. The last one has you repeating when things begin to bother you to just say “I don’t fucking care.” And this led me to think….as I was popping around from app to app, checking Facebook, Snap chat, Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter. The proverbial light bulb went off over my head. Social media is messing with my head. I mean, seriously. When did I become the person who needed approval on social media to make myself feel worthy? To get approval to know my worth?
I check Facebook first off every morning at 4am when I get up (yes you read that right….4am) to see who’s been up to what while I’ve been sleeping. How many of these updates are things that are really important to me? Is it important that I see the latest cat video? I definitely don’t need to see how many different ways Trump is shown in the media. And then there are the things I post. What if no one comments? What if no one likes or gives me the smiley face emoji? Does that make me not worth reading about? Let’s be honest, if I don’t care about what you wrote, why should you care about me? But here’s the thing with Facebook; I never realized how many OTHER sites I used my Facebook information to log into. It took me most of Friday to search that down and change all those passwords. As of now, I am only on Facebook for a teacher group and a classroom group. I even disabled the link for these posts to go onto there. After I make sure I have taken all my pictures and passwords down….I’m sorry Mr. Zuckerberg; but we’ll be parting ways.
Snap-chat….oh how I wanted to like you. You vex me. You intrigue me.I like seeing the things my old work friends from Modell’s put up. I like to see the short videos that family do. But, why does it bother me when I put out a friend request and it doesn’t get accepted? Does that person(s) not wanting me to see their “storyline” or what the post a reflection on me? Am I not worthy? Am I being judged as not worth being a friend? Was I wrong to remove the friend request and send it again? Why do I feel the need to check to see what friends I do follow are doing? Are their lives so much better than mine? Is mine that much more dull? Do people really want to see what I’m doing? Honestly, I don’t think much of what I do is snap worthy. If I want to send someone a picture of what I’m doing, I can just text it to them. But, oh those adorable little things we can do with a selfie….while some I’ve seen are beyond cute, I don’t think anyone wants to see THIS mug with a dog nose and ears. So, Mr. Spiegel, Mr. Murphy, Mr. Brown; I’m sorry to say that our short yet tumultuous relationship is coming to and end too.
My dear Mr. Systrom and Mr. Krieger, you invented the one of the Social Media apps I will be keeping…Instagram. While I waffled back and forth and too and fro about keeping you..the forth and fro won. I still have some trepidation over keeping you. I tend to overthink (who ME?) when no one likes or comments on my pictures. And more than once in a hissy fit I have deleted old pictures because no one has liked them. In the end, with Facebook gone, this app is how I will be sharing and seeing pictures of my family across the country and world. I will admit that I need to get better at not looking at who I follow and what they like since they don’t like mine, hey, I don’t fucking care….see I can say it. You chose to follow me and let me follow you – if you are a private account – so if you don’t like what I post…oh well, you don’t appreciate my fine sarcasm and spin on life.
Mr. Karp came up with Tumblr, and that’s an odd app. I don’t plan on closing that one. That site truly intrigues me. I use it for quotes and pictures and life hacks. I really don’t know anyone that I follow there. It’s kind of like a big ole catalog of “stuff” that can inspire or make you hungry – I follow a lot of food porn- and let you see into things for a brief moment that you may not have normally done. Tumblr made the final cut.
Williams, Glass, Dorsey and Stone – sounds like a nice law firm or advertising company. Well it is in a way, rolled up into one. They are the founders of Twitter. And Twitter made the final cut. I came into Twitter relatively late, maybe over the past two years. I like it because I only have to read 140 characters that a person wrote. If they post a link and I like it, then off I go on a journey into the world of cyber-stuff. I don’t tweet much, I read more. My last tweet about the movie based on the marathon bombing got several re-posts from people I’ve never heard of. I’ve found people who come up as suggestions based on what I like and small world being small world, they are friends of friends. I’ve found people who are bat-shit crazy (I usually stop following them) and some who need to tweet every two minutes – no judgement…maybe it’s their job. But Twitter, for me, is the Internet headlines all rolled up into concise 140 character bytes.
These are all the Social Media apps/sites that I am using. I don’t consider WordPress and this blog to be any of that, because most of the time I think I’m just writing to myself. But having this blog has let me put words and a voice to what ails me. I’m trying to learn how to not care. It’s not an easy thing for an old dog like me to do. It’s not a “turn it off and turn it on again and see how it re-boots” thing. If you think I’m crazy for laying myself so bare, well you have that opinion. I started to type “I’m sorry” but I didn’t ask you to follow the link and read this. We all have choices to make and for the longest time I’ve questioned too many of mine..especially in the social media part. I’ve said that I’m trying to disappear and that sounded harsh. What I’m trying to do is find my real voice. And if there is one thing I can do it’s write. So I hope those of you who find I’m not on SnapChat – all 5 of you who are my friends – or Facebook…you’ll know where I am.