I seem to have been saying that a lot lately. “I’m sorry for being a bitch” “I’m sorry for what I said” “I’m sorry for what I did” “I’m sorry that I treated you badly and it’s not you. It IS me. I’m not a normal person and don’t deserve your friendship or your time.” This has been my frame of mind the past few days. I know that apologies can mean the world to the person “wronged” but if I don’t change my behavior, what good is the apology in the first place? If I keep doing the same thing over and over, does that mean I haven’t learned my lesson? Does that mean that I really want the person(s) I’ve been apologizing to to just cut me out of their lives?
The past few days I’ve become very reflective. I hope the people in my life that I’ve had to apologize to can understand when I become this quiet. I need to reflect on things I’ve done and I hope when I come out the other side, they are still there.