I had one of those leaks in my wall today. It’s funny, because when it happened; I had to take a pause and think about it. Why did the incident make me stop and think that I did something wrong? Why did I take the look on the person’s face to be one of “Oh fuck, there’s Kelly. I can’t duck her?” As I got in my car and drove away, I really stopped to think about what was going on in my mind. I don’t remember where I read it, but there was an article that said when we (or I) have these moments I should write down what was going on at that time. Who it was about and what was I feeling. Well driving and writing are probably more frowned upon than texting and driving. So I thought this out.
- Be honest, did I really DO anything to make me think this person was unhappy to see me? No. I didn’t plan to be where I was at that moment and neither did they. It was just chance circumstance.
- Do I know what kind of day they were having? No. This is where my title comes from. I have no idea what that person just came from. Maybe they had a bad morning. Maybe they had a bad phone call or text. Maybe they had a really bad choice of lunch item and were regretting the mambo their stomach was now doing and I had the misfortune to be the first person they saw.
- Does this person EVER make me feel like they are sorry to see me? No. Never. This person is always very nice, kind and we have the most interesting conversations. This is someone I’m actually comfortable around.
So, that crack in the wall; well it turned out to be a shadow that was just passing by. In the past I would have been so upset and thinking what a fucking loser I am. This is baby steps….little things that are part of the long marathon ahead of me.