Accentuate the Positive

Eliminate the negative….Latch on to the affirmative….

Now that I’ve got that gem of a song stuck in your head….How do you turn negativity into positive action? We all get negative thoughts, it’s normal. We get them for all kinds of reasons and for all kinds of things. When my negative thoughts hit, it tends to lead into overthinking. I know that it’s usually anxiety of some kind forming and I need to step away from the issue and take a moment to look at what I’m overthinking. I had a major overthinking issue flare up from the past last night. My journal gets the actuality of it but what I did was believe that people used me to get what they wanted. That their end result was a product of my involvement and that was my only use for them. Did I honestly believe these people thought so little of me to use me like that. In my mind for a moment I did believe that and I hurt one of the two people with my words in a moment of anger. I have repaired that fence, but sometimes, like last night, the thought came back to haunt me again.

I tried the method of writing out what I thought was the issue and then looking back at what I wrote. Is it honestly true? Do I really believe it? Am I letting the negative override the positive? Am I making myself more than I really am? The only one I still hold on to is that last statement. My perspective is that I wasn’t used in that situation, but I accept responsibility that I made myself more important that I actually was/am and that is a tough pill to swallow. Have I accepted the situation as it is now? To a high degree. Sometimes it hits me and I get …not angry….maybe sad…more at myself than anything else. I’ve never been a person who thought herself to be more than she was/is and in this case I did. I let words get to my head and I can’t believe how …well ….stupid I was. I can ask myself endlessly “Can I do anything about this right now?” Well, no…no I can’t. I have to fall back on the expression “It is what it is.” I put too much into something, into what I percieved the outcome to be and I was wrong.

I can get mad, but at who? The only real person that I can be angry with is myself. Me and no one else. I made the assumptions, I believed what wasn’t true and I’ve no one to blame but myself. When I fall back into one of these moments where this kind of situation pops up, I need to find the humor in it..preferably not at my own self. I’m really good at making me the butt of my own jokes. I spent so much of my time lately self-torturing over what I believed to be the truth I need to catch myself when I head down that way and stop myself.

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