If you have anxiety you’ll understand

(taken from an article on BayArt and my comments follow the 16 struggles listed)

  1. How annoying it is when peole tell you to “stop worrying about it.” Extremely! If I could stop worrying about how I did on a training session or as what happened today – a presentation at school where the tech side – my side – failed in front of the Mayor and Asst Superinendant – I would. I worry if I let either of my trainers down with my effort. I worry if I’m going on too much with this blog. I worry about having to meet my new therapist next week. I worry if I over share. I worry if people think I’m a miserable person.
  2. “Maybe” is the worst word in the English language. I know I use this on my children, but it’s more of a parental thing. I see maybe as “Maybe it’s you.” “Maybe you’ve messed up.” Always negative.
  3. How loosely people use the word “panic attack” Unless you’re heart feels like it’s going to race out of your heart. You can’t breath and feel like you’re suffocating. You feel trapped an need to escape…..then it’s not a panic attack.
  4. Waking up in the middle of the night an dnot falling back asleep because your brain is a spinning wheel of anciety. For me it’s the going to sleep. When my anxiety is in overdrive, I can’t fall asleep. I see and hear everything that haunts me and wish I had a TARDIS or a do-over button.
  5. You get anxiety about the tiniest things. Mine isn’t in the form of “Are my friends hanging out without me?” Honestly, I don’t have a ton of friends. I get anxious over strange looks from people. I suddenly wonder if I’m Quasimodo and they want me to get back up in the bell tower.
  6. You can’t stand being late or early. YES!
  7. If you ever have to cancel plans, you’re afraid everyone will hate you. I had this experience to a degree in early September. I was offered free tickets to see Springsteen on his last tour night at Gillette and turned them down because I thought my trainer would get pissed that I cancelled my session.
  8. When your anxiety is in full throttle and you just shut down. For me, it’s more of if you see me in full throttle anxiety, I can’t look you in the eye for a while. I feel you’ve seen me at my worst point and judge me on it.
  9. You have anxious tick you don’t even notice. I tend to shake my head like I’m talking to myself and I did something wrong. Another give away is I tend to make fists.
  10. When too many people are trying to communicate with you at once, your brain feels like it’s about to explode. Honestly I’m a teacher, so this is something I’m used to.
  11. On the flip side, when no one’s texting you back, it’s definitely because they all hate you….Has this been reading my mind? I always feel like I’m being a pain in the ass and I end up apologizing to the person I texted and then try not to text them again until they text me first and then that leads to a wonderful loop.
  12. That sporadic axniety crying. Hell I try to chalk that up to hormones.
  13. Those terribl anxiety stomachaches. For me growing up it was yawning.
  14. Feel like watching a funny movie? Well there’s always time for that.
  15. You freak out if there’s no order in your life. I clean when I’m stressed out, but normally the minor messes in my house aren’t that bad. I know where everything is.
  16. It takes forever for you to do anything because you’re frequently lost inside your own head. My problem is I do things too quickly sometimes and then worry about the aftermath.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s