Last Spring I ventured into my local Barnes & Noble and found a book called Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself….40 Ways to Transform Your Iner Critic and Your Life. I stumbled upon the book in my drawer last night and wanted to share some points in the book that stood out to me then.
- Negative thinking is exactly that- negative. However understanding negative thoughts is paramount to overcoming them.
- The first belief I’m changing : I’m a waste of time. Not true. I make a difference simply by being.
- The second belief I’m changing: Nothing I do is good enough. I have to define my own perfection.
- The third belief I’m changing: I deserve pain. No, I don’t. NObody does. There’s a diference between accepting responsibility for how yout hink about hurtful things other peope have done, and taking the blame for those actions. I’ve not done any thing to deserve the things that have happened to me.
- Feeling proud of yourself for you good qualities is one thing; being able to embrace yourself when you feel anger, reentment, or jealousy is another. I have the right to feel all things. Just as it’s okay to be excited, happy, and content, it’s also okay to feel sad, nervous, and bored.
- Jealousy is a sneaky bugger- a pot stirrer that likes to aid the ego in pointng out flaws you’d rather just sweep under the rug. It serves as a reminder of all the success you don’t have, the experiences you haven’t had, the relationships you’d like to have – basically everything that makes you feel “less than”.
- Do you ever seek validation through compliments from other or likes on Facebook? It’s easy to latch on to different identities when youdon’t fully understand what makes you uniquely you. It’s a difficult habit to break, but it can be done. The first step is to learn about what matters to you. Make a list of all the qualities you value in yourself: do you value charity? Is it your goal to travel the world? ARe you funny? Driven? Patient? Next is to accept responsibility for you life. ONe of the reason it’s so tempting to focus on teh negatives we see in ourselves is that it provides a sense of control. If you’re unfulfilled at work, complaining to others can provide a sense of validation. Stop making excuses and start makng changes – starting w ith limiting comparisons.
- We want to tell people when we’re hurting, but we’re afraid of looking weak and inferior.
- @the gym: But it’s happening in my head, because in my head I hear “You’re not as good as them,” “They’ll think you’re stupid,” and “You don’t fit in here.” ……Instead of dwelling on all the bad things I thought people were thinking, I told myself, “I belong here”, “I’m happy here,” and “Everyone here likes me.” Everything started to change. I suddenly realized that no one was looking at me strangely. No one cared what I was doing or whetehr I was as gorgeous as them. They were quite happy miding their own business doing their own thing, and owrking on themselves.