Life has many ways of testing…

…..a person’s will. Either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.” ~Paul Coehlo

Today was one of those days. Yesterday, I decided that the funk I’ve been in since Christmas Eve morning wasn’t normal. I can break out of a funk in 24 hours. I’m going on a week now. I called my doctor to up my dosage. I should have done this when I met with her a week ago and I wondered about it then. She was off yesterday and I was told to call back today so that I could talk to her directly. Okay…so off I go to have an ultrasound done of my thyroid. I had a little lump in 2009 and haven’t had it looked at since then. This morning I call my doctor and I’m told she’s on vacation (um, could have told me that yesterday) and to call back on Tuesday. Fifteen minutes later I get another call from my doctor’s office. Apparently, the lump has grown and I have to go see an Endocrinologist. Talk about raining and pouring. Jesus. I’m struggling to get from one day to the next. It’s hard to get out of bed and when I do get out of bed, I’m afraid to stop moving. If I stand still too long then it will all come rushing back into me. Now I have to wait 4 days…no really 5 days before I can call my doctor to have my meds upped. AND I have this thyroid thing. I’m struggling in every area of my life and now I have new things.

“Kitty” told me that often thyroid issues go hand in hand with depression. Before you ask, “Kitty” works in the medical field and I trust her judgment. I googled it after I left the gym and saw that there are some connections between the two. It’s just at first my brain raced to something severe like cancer. It’s not there now, but I am concerned. I feel like I’ve worked so hard on me that something like this would be a typical Karma event. I have an appointment next Friday at 9:15. I hate having to take a day off from work, but I’m going to.

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