It’s hard. Fighting all of this

I always knew it was going to be a long long road to travel. An uphill battle if you will. I also know that I was going to feel lonely …. no, feel alone. Lonely and alone are two different things. I knew there would be potholes too. Some big some small. I feel like there have been some sink holes along the road this week. And because of the sinkholes, I feel things creeping back up. I am feeling some automatic thoughts of not mattering and feeling like a loser. I feel like nothing … and I mean nothing I do is right. I feel like I’ve lost some of my drive. I feel like my feet are stuck in molasses and I’m just having a hard time with everything.

It’s not anywhere near what it was before, but that doesn’t make it any harder to fight. I just now know how to deal with it better so it doesn’t hurt as much and I can take some of the sting out.

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